~ Bailey Shawley, M.Ed, CCTS-F, Specialized Parenting and Educational Consultant
I’ve had an anxiety disorder all my life, even though it wasn’t officially diagnosed until I was in my 30s. I’m a perfectionist. I’m a planner. I like it when things are neat and tidy and there aren’t any surprises. I like the known and the comfortable and the familiar. These are the things that make me who I am and that make me feel like I need to control Every. Little. Thing.
The problem is, that isn’t realistic. That’s basically the opposite of how life works. And that’s what makes my anxiety difficult to manage. Thankfully, I’ve had knowledgeable doctors and therapists, supportive family members and friends, and extensive training and education to have a much better understanding not only of my anxiety but of how to manage my thoughts, feelings, and need to control.
There are so many coping skills and strategies for managing anxiety, but the one that worked the best for me – and that honestly was like an epiphany – was a graphic much like this one. I had to recognize that I literally cannot control everything and that putting that very unrealistic expectation upon myself was making my anxiety worse. It seems so simple, but in the throes of anxiety, nothing is logical or simple. Racing thoughts, catastrophizing, and what ifs take over and there is no calm, logical thinking process. It took time. It took some medication. And it took letting go, which was the most difficult part for me.
Ironically, it felt empowering to be able to make quick graphics like this one when I experienced higher levels of anxiety; knowing what I should focus on put me back in control of my emotions. And it was so freeing to allow myself to set personal boundaries for what was not within my control. I truly had no idea that a person could do that. Not controlling everything was such a novel idea to me. I remember things really hitting home when my doctor said to me, “Isn’t it nice to know life doesn’t have to be so hard?”
And that’s why I have dedicated my professional life to educating and helping others. You may not have an anxiety disorder. You may not even meet diagnostic criteria for an unspecified anxiety disorder. But, you may feel like life is a little harder than it needs to be and that there has to be a way to make things easier. Talking with someone who has the credentials and lived experience to help you know what to do differently can change your life for the better. And if you really want to learn to let go, you should schedule a Reiki healing session with me, too. The ways in which Reiki has improved my mental health and overall well-being is a story for another day, but trust me when I say that everyone should experience at least one Reiki healing session.
When you’re ready to schedule an individual, parenting, or group consultation, reach out. The first consultation is free of charge to make sure we are a good fit and is available online or in person. Or, schedule a Reiki healing session or chakra reading. All B Connecting, LLC services are confidential and judgment free.
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