~Bailey Shawley, M.Ed, CCTS-F, Specialized Parenting & Educational Consultant
Comfort. It’s something I’ve been seeking for a few days. Maybe because it’s been so cold. Maybe because the coziness of the holidays has ended. Maybe because I’m struggling with a nasty sinus infection. Maybe because I’m still grieving.
Whatever the case, I laughed when I realized that I’m on the pursuit of physical comfort despite spending the majority of my days talking with clients about moving beyond their comfort zones in order to make healthy, necessary changes. That’s why, every time I see it online, I save the meme declaring that you can be either comfortable or grow, but you can’t do both. Honestly, I both loathe and love it. The loathing arises from the fact that I don’t want it to be true while also knowing that it is true 99% of the time. The loving arises from the fact that the entire concept of the meme matches my preferred approach to life: you have two choices, and you have to make one.
The only problem with comfort is that it’s easy to get stuck there. Once I’m under a blanket, I don’t want to come out. Once I have on pajamas and cozy socks, I don’t want to get dressed. Once I’m offered pasta and bread, I don’t want a salad. Unfortunately, that one problem with comfort is a pretty big one because getting stuck is, in itself, a big problem (i.e. stuck in a rut, stuck in a dead-end job, stuck in a toxic relationship). The other side of the coin is that we don’t like change, and we definitely don’t like change if it means leaving our comfort zone, even if that comfort zone isn’t exactly healthy. So, what are we to do? The answer is one that I also share frequently with clients and try to obtain myself: balance.
There are times when we do need to do what’s comfortable: those are the times when we pursue self-care, slow down, and rest. We can grab our coziest clothes and a mug of coffee and wrap up under a blanket and read a book. That’s good for us. We also can go to our favorite restaurant with our favorite people and have a blast sharing stories and laughing. That’s good for us, too. Sundays on the couch with our kids, watching a favorite movie or cartoon… yep, good for us. And it’s all cozy and comfy and lovely.
But doing those things 100% of the time is not realistic, so we also have to do what’s not comfortable. We have to have difficult conversations with co-workers, bosses, friends, and family. We have to take a long, hard look at what isn’t working and make some changes. We don’t like it, it doesn’t feel good, and it makes us anxious, but it is necessary. We also have to dig deep and self-reflect when we feel out of sorts, unhappy, overwhelmed, or burnt out so we can identify the issue and do something about it. Seeking comfort through self-care in those times is okay, but it does not get to the root of the problem and eventually backfires. When we just take care of our surface feelings and get instant gratification via comfort, the problems bubble under the surface until it’s impossible to get comfortably, anyway. You can’t grow through it until you go through it. That’s really what that meme means.
But, I think what we tend to miss in all of this is that it’s when we do the hard things, have the tough talks, take the giant leaps, and face the difficult challenges, that we grow toward comfort. We make the changes that are necessary to our peace and our well-being, and we find comfort in knowing that we did what we had to do. It was uncomfortable in the moment, but the reward is feeling better and being able to be more comfortable, both physically and emotionally. It doesn’t have to be black-and-white or one-or-the-other. We grow to get comfortable. And it’s worth it.
If you are stuck or want some guidance in getting out of your comfort zone to make some necessary, healthy changes, reach out to schedule a consultation. The initial consultation is free of charge to ensure we are a good fit for one another. Or, if you want help in obtaining some physical and emotional comfort, schedule a chakra reading or a Reiki healing session. All B Connecting, LLC services are confidential and judgment free.
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