~ Bailey Shawley, M.Ed, CCTS-F, Specialized Parenting & Educational Consultant
Tomorrow, we will arrive at the halfway mark of January. How are those New Year’s resolutions coming? Honestly, I hope you took my suggestion to set intentions instead of making resolutions, but to each their own. In any event, if you are struggling to meet your 2025 goals, or even struggling to find the motivation to work toward them, it’s important that you keep in mind that breaking “bad” habits and forming new ones does not happen overnight. For anyone. You also have 351 days left to make those changes, develop those new habits, and reach those goals.
So, why do we give up so easily? Well, there are a lot of reasons, actually. Some of us don’t have supports in place to hold us accountable. Some of us have enablers in our lives making change even more difficult. Some of us didn’t have the proper motivation to try to make a change in the first place. And some of us expect change to happen, and happen now, and we get frustrated when it doesn’t, so we think it won’t ever happen, and we just stop because it’s over. Anxiety, anyone?
Dr. Glenn Doyle reminds us that we can’t make huge, sweeping, life-altering changes all at once. The majority of humans just aren’t built that way because our brains really aren’t built that way. That’s one of the reasons that most nutritionists work with people to make small changes and build upon them rather than changing their entire diet overnight. Start by drinking more water and reducing the amount of soda you drink in one day. Then watch portion sizes and reduce the amount of sweets you eat in one day. And so on.
When we make changes and develop habits following the way we actually are built, we tend to be more successful and maintain our progress. And I’m not just talking about diet and exercise, though it may help to consider a scenario about marathon runners. Imagine two people deciding they want to run a marathon. The first person begins to train by lifting weights and increasing cardiovascular workouts and eventually running longer distances. The day of the marathon, he has made small changes that led to consistent habits to help him reach his goal of running and finishing the marathon. But, the second person wakes up the day of the marathon and expects to be able to finish the race without having made any small daily changes to prepare, and he barely makes it to the three-mile mark.
Our lives are the marathon. We should not expect major change to happen overnight anymore than we should expect to suddenly be able to run a marathon overnight. So, if you intended to engage in self-care more regularly this year, you can start by adding it to your daily schedule. If you’d like to take a walk outside to help you recharge, don’t try to add it to everything else you’re already doing in the day. Where in your day is an activity that you could do without and replace with walking? Maybe that 30 minutes you spend mindlessly scrolling after dinner could be your walk time. And maybe you commit to walking at least twice a week for 30 minutes each time, and you ask a friend to join you so you’re less likely to forgo the walk.
Small changes every day will add up to forming new habits and reaching exciting goals. Don’t give up if you have one bad day, or even a few bad days. The key to change is progress. Small, specific, realistic changes each day should be your initial goal. Progress, not perfection, should be your overall goal.
If you tend to give up too easily on your goals, get frustrated by your lack of progress, or struggle with motivation, reach out to schedule a consultation. The initial consultation is free of charge to ensure we are a good fit for one another, and it is available online or in person. Or, consider scheduling a Reiki healing session to help yourself relax and restore your positive energy to start the year on the right foot. All B Connecting, LLC services are confidential and judgment free.
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